test with pictures!

You know that point in blogging where you've been gone so long, you don't really know how to come back?  It's like...do I acknowledge the absence? Do I just post as though no time has passed? A little of half?

I'm totally there.

I'm getting worried about NaNoWriMo. Not even the fact that I will (hopefully) be working and have less time, I'm more worried about the creative aspect of it. Last year, I was all about this thing. I had so many story ideas that I was jumping at the chance to get down 50k words for any and all of them. That's why I managed to hit 52k in one story, and 35k in another at the same time.  The creativity and inspiration carried on for awhile, but...it slipped. And at this point, it's pretty much gone. I have a few story ideas floating, as always, but nothing that I'm totally interested in banging out 50k for.  And, it's 50,000 words - that's a commitment nothing has become worthy of.

I don't know what to do about that.

I went up to Irvine last week and got to see a few of my friends who I haven't seen in over a year. And it was absolutely amazing.  They're all Italian exchange students, and most had returned to Italy after their year studying at my university.  A few of them have come back to study for their PhDs, so I managed to go up and have lunch with a group of them.  It really made me miss those who haven't returned, but it was lovely seeing the others. It means a lot that they still care about me so much, even if I was only really friends with them for 4 or 5 months.  Italians make the world a better place, in my opinion.

That same trip really upset me, though. It's kind of odd how that worked out, but being back on campus was terrible. Not only did it feel awkward returning because I have such crappy memories of college, but it was crazy to see all the construction done. It's like a brand new campus, and I hate that I feel so out of place. I mean, obviously I still know the campus is set in a circle and Humanities is right across from Engineering and there used to be a tire swing in the center of the Park.  Those things don't quite go away.  But seeing the new Humanities building, and the entire new Second Year Housing buildings, and this massive parking structure at the ARC...it was just too weird.  The place I called home for 4 years isn't anything like it was, and that disturbs me slightly.

By the way, did you know that when you have over 1000 unread posts in Google Reader to get to, the number stops?  It just says (1000+).  Good to know.

I have to admit though, despite extreme exhaustion and general listlessness towards life, I've been craaaazy busy. Lots of celebrations and outings and general doings going on. Brother's girlfriend's birthday happened, so we did it up big (ie, bday party at her house that included an egg hunt. Yep.)...a friend graduated again so we partied downtown...went to a concert that was shameful mostly and surprisingly fun...hit up Hash House, the most awesome breakfast joint ever--where the flapjacks are literally bigger than a pizza--and got caught in rain...and got crunk with drag queens.

What? You want pictures? Why SURE!

Yep...the shameful concert was a Jonas Brothers show.  Two of my friends and I were able to get tickets for less than $20, so we were like...why not?  It's catchy and fun and I was am a die-hard *NSYNC fan for life, so this crowd ain't got nothin' on me. And I admit (as I have on this blog before) that one of my guilty pleasures is Demi Lovato music...

and she was the opening act. So, plus one more for me!  Have to say though, she's not that great live.  She's incredibly pitchy and doesn't know how to properly breathe while dancing and moving around.  So, a bit distracting, almost slightly disappointed, but...it is what it is.

Gotta admit, Jonas Brothers were...I mean, it all sounded right. Pretty much no surprises in their performance, except I didn't think Joe Jonas could get any womanlier...and then he took off that jacket from picture 1 and revealed that the black makes-me-look-like-i-have-cleavage shirt is actually an oddly fitted tank top and I was effectively proven wrong.  But so it goes, right?  So. It. Goes.

Just a few of the drag queens we got to party with!  The one we have a picture with was our table's hostess for the night and she was awesome.  The one in the coral/peach dress was our favourite for the night because she was so freakin' cute I pretty much just wanted to be her.  This was all at Lips, a dinner/drag show bar in San Diego that's apparently quite famous.  Food was good, entertainment was top notch...I'm pretty sure I'll be headed back there sometime.  When I'm made of money anyway, because shit's expensive, man.

Requisite bathroom photo?  It was mostly just to show how faaaancy the girl's bathroom was!

Lastly, the birthday cupcakes I made for brother's girlfriend!

Testing What A Long Post Will Look Like. I Do Not Foresee Good.

Despite a long list of qualifications and experience on my resume, I've had surprisingly few real jobs.  I mean, I count being a magazine editor-in-chief as a job--but since I didn't receive a salary, few others do (am I the only one wanting to protest that?).  My first job was at 19 but quit 6 months later since it was affected my school work, and I didn't work again until graduating college.  I was incredibly lucky to be given (Literally.  My friend had to leave her job and actually gave it to me.) a job related to the field I was looking to work in only six days after graduation.  On July 6, 2009, two weeks after getting a BA in my hands, I began as an Account & Content Manager at a small web design and marketing business specializing in working with health care professionals.  In simpler terms, I maintained the websites of dentists and plastic surgeons around the world.  While it wasn't quite the way I wanted to do my design and editing work, I found it relatively enjoyable and liked learning something new.  Then again, getting $12/hr ($4.50 more than my first job) would make me like a lot of things--even if it was the lowest salary of all my friends.

On August 11, 2009, the company downsized.  Last hired, first "fired."  36 days into my blissful, "I'm an adult, I make my own money" haze, it was all taken away.

And I haven't been able to find work since.

Even when I had the job, it was tough making ends meet.  I lived in Orange County, which we all know to be upscale (thank you, The OC and Real Housewives of OC for that reputation).  Between a 1-bedroom apartment that was $1700/mo, utility bills that usually ended around $200, car payments, gas money, and food to feed me, I was stretched pretty thin.  Bare minimum, and I was still asking my parents to help out with the rent at the very least.

Imagine when my income was taken away.

With all my friends, I'm known as the flake.  And I admit to that being a terrible trait that I do unfortunately possess.  I rarely pay attention to my phone, I take years to respond to texts, I never respond to e-mails if it's not work related, and I am guilty on several occasions of simply calling to say "I don't feel like going anymore" half a day before we're supposed to go somewhere.

Part of it is that I'm actually that flaky.

But a lot of it is because I simply can't plan my bank account.

Something you may be able to tell from the post is that I'm incredibly meticulous about numbers.  I recall dates really well, I keep strict records of everything, and I know, down to the decimal, what my bank account is at any given moment of any day.  Being a control-freak, all of this fits me.

But I can't control what happens to my bank account.

Obviously I can control how many times I go out to eat, or how much I'll spend on a new book.  And even though I wish with all my heart I didn't have to control it, I know exactly how much I'll have to spend on my student loan payments every month.  But I can't control the sudden car repairs, gas prices, insurance costs, or anything like that.

This is a test post

I'm really just trying to figure out how this is all going to look.

and set up my layout for the relaunch of my main blog.

ahhh, confusion.

why do I have so many blogs?!